i fall without my wings
by tatty ted
Summary: As she's knelt on the floor with Dynasty, the student crying into her chest, she wishes someone told her all those years ago, that it wasn't her fault that she was raped. Perhaps if they had, she wouldn't have gone down the self-destruction path trying to block out the memories of her attack. - —Christine/Dynasty,


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**i fall without my wings**  
_i see your face it's haunting me_

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The minute she walks into the bathroom, to see Dynasty on the floor, Christine gets that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She know it's something to do with Steve-O, Dynasty's boyfriend from Liverpool but she doesn't know what.

"Dynasty?" She puts her stuff on the floor and walks towards her before kneeling down beside her, "Tell me what happened?"

"I can't," Dynasty whispers.

"Yes you can," she pauses for a second, "whatever it is. I'm going to stay right here and you take all the time you need."

There's that sick feeling in the pit of Christine's stomach. The feeling that tells her, that voice in her head that says to her that Dynasty was raped. Call it instinct, call it being able to tell the pain of a victim. _That _pain in somebody else.

"It's Steve-O," Dynasty breaks down more, sobs breaking through her body; "He made me—"

She reaches out. She rubs her back, "He made you what?"

"Have sex." She doesn't feel any better that its out in the open and Christine sighs gently. She pulls her into a hug and feels sick inside because she's been in the exact same situation, she was raped and look what happened to her.

Dynasty cries into her chest and Christine runs her fingers through her hair, "Why didn't you say anything?" Imogen asks and Christine remembers that they're not alone in the bathroom. She knows the answer before Dynasty says anything, she knows she didn't say anything because she believed it was her fault.

It's the same reason why Christine held her secret for so long, because she believed she was too blame. If she hadn't have done this or that, she'd have never found herself in that situation. That's how she ended up turning to the bottle, to block out every flashback, every painful reminder every time she held her son.

"No it wasn't." She whispers back, "We're going to wait until your ready before we do anything."

She wishes back then, when she was raped, somebody had held her and told her everything she was telling Dynasty. She wonders if they had done, if she'd have gone down the self-destruction path and used alcohol.

"I know how much courage it took for you to tell us," she whispers, "but Dynasty, you can't let this break you."

She feels sad inside for Dynasty because she's young and she doesn't need this. Rape, it doesn't go away. Of course you're able to move on but its still there, every relationship, every friendship. The trust, its tattered and you try your hardest to mend it. You try to trust but you know in the end you won't.

Because you think every man's going to want to hurt you.

"I was scared no-one would believe me." Christine swallows and remembers that feeling well. She never told anyone about her rape when she was younger, when it happened because she believed nobody would believe her. They'd think she was a liar, a dirty filthy liar.

"Well I do," she whispers back, "listen to me, Imogen is right you have to report him."

"What if he tries to justify it? He's my boyfriend."

"Whether he's your boyfriend or not, he ra—" She pauses, she knows better than to say that word because for her, for Dynasty it isn't rape. She's not told herself that yet, "he assaulted you. You have the strength to do this, I know you do."

Dynasty wasn't her. Dynasty had strength and courage and everything Christine never had. Dynasty could get through this.

"I will be with you every step of the way," she whispers and means it. Getting over this is going to be hard, rebuilding every piece of her shattered life but Christine would be there to support her. They'd do this together after all, she was the only one who understood exactly what Dynasty was going through.

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**jottings** / if you like it enough to favourite, please leave a review:3


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